It’s never easy to have a conversation about assisted living with your parents. No senior wants to lose their home or their independence. They may lash out with anger, frustration, or accusations. However, it may become clear that living alone isn’t safe anymore and a nursing home or retirement living community is the best option.

Having this difficult conversation can be made easier if you follow these tips.

1. Talk in Person

Having this tough discussion by phone isn’t a good idea. Take time to meet with your parents in a space they feel comfortable, such as their home or their favourite coffee shop. Make sure you’re all calm and well-rested. Avoid rushing the conversation. Plan enough time to talk through the issue thoroughly.

2. Show You Care

Your parent will not want your sympathy. They don’t want to be talked down to or made to feel like a child who can’t take care of themselves anymore. Use empathy and active listening during the conversation to show you care. The move to a senior living facility is for their best interests. Accepting such a transition can be difficult, so try your best to calmly understand and acknowledge any frustrations or fears they may have regarding the topic.

3. Do Your Research Ahead of Time

It’s best to go into this discussion prepared. Before planning to meet, do your research about the different types of housing options, such as independent living, assisted living, and long-term care. Know the cost of each time of accommodation, as well as the locations of such communities where you live or where your parents want to live in their retirement, if they want to relocate. Discuss the pros and cons of each option and have enough information on hand to be able to answer any questions your parents may have.

4. Plan for an Ongoing Conversation

You might want to start and finish the difficult conversation in one day, but this shouldn’t be a one-and-done discussion. Your parents will need time to come to terms with what you’re asking, and they may want to do their own research, figure out their finances, and more. Unless they’re in imminent danger living alone at home, view the discussion as an ongoing process.

5. Keep Them Involved in the Decision

Your parents, like everyone else, will want to have some control over where they live and the type of care they receive. That’s why it’s so important to keep them involved in any decision that is made. This will also prevent them from feeling like their kids are ganging up on them. If possible, visit assisted living communities together to help them make a more informed decision they’re comfortable with.

6. Speak of Your Concerns

You want your parent to move to a retirement living community because you don’t believe it’s safe for them to live alone at home anymore. You believe it’s the best option. So, discuss why you feel this way. Has your parent fallen down recently and hurt themselves? Are they having trouble with mobility? Do they have dementia? Are they having more difficulty taking care of the yard or doing the grocery shopping? Speak about your concerns so your parent knows where you’re coming from.

7. Recognize Why They Want to Stay at Home

Your parents likely want to continue living at home for a variety of reasons. They may not want to give up their independence, move away from their friends, or have their relationships with their kids affected by such a move. By understanding why they want to stay at home, you can appease their concerns and explain that they’ll still be as independent as they wish, that they can make new friends in the retirement community and keep in touch with old friends, and that you’ll continue to visit them often.

With these tips in mind, you’ll be able to have a more productive conversation about senior care.